


Hold On

by Annie_Carstairs



Series: Love... [1]
Category: Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Alternate Blue Identity Reveal (Creekwood), Blue Identity Reveal (Creekwood), Canon - Book & Movie Combination, M/M, Major Character Injury, Song: Hold On (Chord Overstreet), Songfic, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:13:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26300974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie_Carstairs/pseuds/Annie_Carstairs
Summary: Based (a little bit) Based a bit on the song HOLD ON by Chord Overstreet. I don't know if it totally counts as Songfic.Bram is angry and thinks that it is okay to leave Simon aside, but he has eyes and something is not right.IMPORTANT !!!!This work were originally written in Spanish, so i'm sorry for the possible mistakes.
Relationships: Bram Greenfeld/Simon Spier
Series: Love... [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2182128
Kudos: 14





	Hold On

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Sostente - Hold On](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25776484) by [Annie_Carstairs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie_Carstairs/pseuds/Annie_Carstairs). 



> So for this to make sense it's pretty much based on the book with mixes from the movie, this is basically what would happen if after the punishment everyone abandons Simon like in the movie.

Sometimes love runs into difficulties, it is normal to fight, it is normal to get angry, it is normal to be hurt. And friendship is just one of the many forms of love. That's what Bram thinks, what he uses to justify what he's seeing, what he's doing, maybe Simon doesn't know who he is, but he knows that I hurt Blue and because of that, Bram almost feels good when he just sits there, instead of supporting the gray-eyed boy.

“You can't be here; we don't want you here”.

Leah's words still ring in her ears, and Simon's wounded, incredulous gaze burrows into her mind.

“But- what?”

“Get out of here Simon”.

Leah's voice sounds broken, as if it hurts as much or more than Simon is hurting, but he doesn't seem to notice, he's watching his friend throw him off the lunch table, his gaze sweeps over everyone who is there. At the table, when his eyes land on him, he almost feels flanking, but then he hears Abby's voice:

“You heard Leah, go away Simon”.

He sees the impact the girls' words have and for a moment you feel that Simon really deserves this. For guessing wrong, he tells himself. But his heart sinks when he sees those eyes fill with tears and he runs out of the cafeteria. He doesn't even care about his cake.

*

*

*

He is not stupid and notices the changes in Simon, it is not that he always observes him, anyone would realize that Simon Spier has changed, not only because of the fact that he was expelled, no one talks about it, since the incident occurred, but everyone They have seen that the boy who used to laugh with his friends and be just plain happy seems hardly the same. And if they talk about him it is only to wonder if his friends really were, since they are not around now. She tries to focus on the music coming out of her headphones, but this one is unexpectedly sad.

**_Loving and fighting_ **

**_Accusing, denying_ **

**_I can't imagine a world with you gone_ **

**_The joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of_ **

**_I'd be so lost if you left me alone-_ **

The first time he heard it he felt that he understood gossip, Leah and Simon had been friends long before they knew it was friendship, the second and third time he also understood it, even the tenth, but now everything starts to hurt. English class is about to start, but he can hear the whispers, especially now that the music has ended.

“It's been more than a week; I didn't think Leah was homophobic-”

Unable to help it, your body stiffens, you can almost feel like they'll say the same thing if you ever get out, but nothing prepares you for the next whisper.

“Not even the soccer boys, Nick, Bram, and Garrett seemed to get along that well with him-”

I would be lying if I said that whispering affects you, but this is new, the pain arises in your chest and goes to your heart or vice versa and you stop paying attention to the world. And he doesn't realize that Simon doesn't even make it to class.

*

*

*

The next thing he knows, it's Thursday, he's sitting right in the middle of the English room as usual when he sees Cal Prince standing by the door. For a second, she wonders what he's doing, since he's not in the class, but then a thought crosses her mind. It's there for Simon.

The blue-eyed boy Simon longed for so much, the perfect gentleman who never left him. His eyes sting and Bram tries to tell himself that Simon deserves to be happy, that it's not his fault that he hadn't been in love with him. He mentally prepares himself for the screams that the show of affection between Cal and Simon can generate, but it never comes and when he looks at the door again; he is not surprised to see Simon holding Cal's hand, what surprises him is his appearance, he looks incredibly off, he doesn't even smile at the brown boy in front of him.

*

*

*

Friday is the talent show and there is no way Bram can get out of his head that something is terribly wrong. He sees Simon's sisters and their parents, but not Simon. And he's about to run up to them and ask for information from him when a voice interrupts him.

“Bram? Abraham?”

For all the… God probably hates him, since in front of him is Cal Prince.

“Can we talk?”

The boy looks determined and Bram wonders if somehow Simon has figured out who he is. And now her boyfriend is coming to tell her to stay away or something.

“Yes”

“Listen, Simon has been bad and I wanted to know if you could tell the rest of his friends that he needs them. I know it doesn't concern me if you are- am-”

Bram doesn't need to listen anymore, because suddenly everything fits together, Simon is alone at home, and he probably feels lonelier than ever, he must not be a genius to make his blood run cold, he has seen the symptoms and has ignored them, but now it is impossible the cold runs through his body-

He doesn't really remember asking for Simon's address, but he's suddenly in his car speeding away.

**_You locked yourself in the bathroom_ **

**_Lying on the floor when I break through_ **

**_I pull you in to feel your heartbeat_ **

**_Can you hear me screaming "Please don't leave me"?_ **

Now he is in front of the Spier house… the door is open and he hears screams from inside.

Move forward in the dark and hear the screams more clearly, it's Leah.

“Please! Someone!”

Her screams seem heartbreaking, but then she comes to the only room with light and for a moment she doesn't understand. Because Simon seems to be asleep and the pain that seemed to surround him for the past few weeks is missing from his face. But then everything clicks and Bram's worst fears come true, Simon is right under the shower, his body seems to be wet and his wrists, red and terribly fragile, oh god - he only saw them for a second, but he knows that with that it will be enough to torment him the rest of his days. Leah is there, on Simon, trying to keep the blood inside her friend's body, her eyes wild and full of tears -

“HELP!”

Her sob brings her back to reality, the horrible reality. He takes out his phone and calls 911, while he waits for them to answer, he flops to the ground next to Leah. She quickly reaches her hand over to Leah's, to stop the bleeding and with some relief she realizes that Simon doesn't seem to be totally drenched, and his pulse feels weak but clear.

**_Hold on, I still want you_ **

**_Come back, I still need you_ **

**_Let me take your hand, I'll make it right_ **

**_I swear to love you all my life_ **

**_Hold on, I still need you_ **

He doesn't know exactly how much time passes, but suddenly he hears Leah giving an address. He is amazed as he continues to cry while doing it, but it may be that he is just amazed at his strength, he doesn't even know what would have happened if he had not appeared.

“Bram, is he going to be okay?”

Leah's voice is so different from a minute ago when she was giving the address that she raises her head in amazement, and now she does see her, she seems so small, all full of blood and with swollen eyes and she realizes that it is the first Once you have seen her scared, not scared is not the word, she is terrified.

"I… I hope… I mean, he didn't lose that much blood, did he?" “When Leah shakes her head, she continues: “, How- How did you know?”

How did you know what Simon was planning? He tries to say Bram, but he can't, luckily Leah seems to understand.

“I knew something was not right- when- when Nora said he didn't want to go to the presentation, I-”

Her voice breaks again and then Bram hears the sirens.

**_A long endless highway, you're silent beside me_ **

**_Drivin 'a nightmare I can't escape from_ **

**_Helplessly praying, the light isn't fadin’_ **

**_Hiding the shock and the chill in my bones_ **

When they arrive at the hospital, everyone assures him that he will be fine, but part of him is terrified. They can say it just because it's hospital protocol, he thinks, but then they remind him that he can't be there, that he has no right to stay with Simons and the tears that he didn't know he was holding come out like a torrent. And he flops against the wall of the emergency room.

How could he allow Simon to do that? How did she not realize the damage she was doing to him by leaving him alone? And right after he was kicked out in such an awfully dirty way, how would he live with that on his conscience? How would she live at all if Simon-? If Simon didn't know that she probably loves him-.

No, no, the paramedics had assured him and Leah that they had arrived on time. So, I would think positively, I had to-.

“May I ask why are you here? “Leah’s voice takes him out of his thoughts, and he turns up, to see Leah hug herself “, I'm sorry I didn't want to sound like that, that is, I'm happy that you arrived on time and will help me, but- No, I understand why you would go to Si's house-”

She finishes quickly, sitting next to him on the hallway floor. And he takes the opportunity to dry his tears a little.

“I… Well, you could say it's a bit complicated, um…” You can see Leah's still confused expression so she tries to explain herself better “Do you remember the post about Simon that I expelled him?”

“Was it you? “Leah’s eyes fill with anger, but they also look disappointed Did you know that post… You?”

“Not me, I… I mean I'm the guy I was talking to…”

Okay, definitely, I can't express myself when someone is terribly threatening to me, he thinks as he watches Leah processing the information, she just gave her. She is silent for a moment and then she begins to blink rapidly, then she does something that I would never expect of her, because she has seen her for years, she is not the type to show affection to those who do not consider important.

Hugs him.

“You are Blue!”

It's more of a statement than a question, but she agrees anyway. She doesn't know what will happen now, she left Simon alone-.

_Just like you_ \- whispers a voice in his head. But she's probably not homophobic, maybe something else happened.

“I’m not homophobic, just that things got so complicated and-” Leah whispers, as if trying to calm him down “and I thought- I thought he was okay- I don't know what I'll do if he- I need him to be okay-”

His voice dies down and he starts crying again-.

**_They took you away on a table_ **

**_I pace back and forth as you lay still_ **

**_They pull you in and feel your heartbeat_ **

**_Can you hear me screaming: "Please don't leave me"?_ **

Simon's family arrives accompanied by Nick and Abby, who look like someone has ripped off a part of their soul and for a moment he wonders if they will let him be there, that's why as soon as Simon's mother approaches them, Bram he's ready to wait outside the hospital as he couldn't bear to leave, but Leah holds him in place, probably guessing his thoughts. But suddenly he is wrapped in a tearful hug, Emily Spier is thanking him for being on time and avoiding a greater tragedy, without knowing that he was one of the causes, although it seems that he does not care.

She seems to know that Bram needs to be here, because she puts all her maternal authority in when the doctors tell her that only family and she tells him that they are all the family of her son.

*

*

*

They have been waiting for some news since they were transferred to a less chaotic waiting room. Everyone was silent, Alice and Nora were looking at him curiously.

“Bram?” Simon’s dad's voice is soft and comforting, when his eyes land on Bram's he gives him a warm smile “I'm Jack, you must be one of the boys at the lunch table, okay? Does your mother know that you are here?”

“I, I'm not his friend, not exactly-”

Simon's dad interrupts him, gesturing to his wife:

“I see, maybe it would be better if you talked to my wife”.

When she reaches her side, he gets up and leaves Bram alone with her.

“Do you need something darling? You want to talk?”

“I’m very sorry to have gotten away from Simon and allowed- this to happen-”

“I can assure you that it was not your fault or anyone else's here, my child is usually somewhat impulsive and takes the first option he sees, he calls it Simon's logic. But I'm sure that he is It will be fine”. She says shaking his hand “but now I need to know if your parents are okay with you being here. If you don't want to leave, that's fine, but we must let them know”.

“My mom will be fine, but… Could I speak to her? So, you don't think I'm lying to get away with some guy”.

See the impact of her words, being careful not to blush furiously under her gaze.

“Sure, let's go outside?”

She feels everyone's eyes fix on her, but she doesn't turn around. You are mentally preparing yourself for the explanations you must give.

*

*

*

When he goes back into the waiting room, notices that neither Simon's sisters nor father are there, but she doesn't worry. You know that if something had happened, you would have been warned. Her mom had a quick chat with Mrs. Spier and when they finished talking, Emily gave her space to talk to her mom and she went back to the others.

“If I don't mention a boyfriend exactly, but I know something hasn't been right with a boy- I should have paid more attention-”

Abby's voice is barely a whisper, but you can tell she's worried.

“But he and Cal have been fine-”

She is interrupted by Nick who sounds like he recently cried.

“Cal Prince is a very good young man, but I know that he and Simon are not dating, Yes, he said he couldn't do that to either of them… But I feel like I'm missing pieces…”

Emily ends with a tired tone. And then everyone realizes that I'm back. All eyes are on him again.

“Bram, the doctors say Simon will be fine, he's just anesthetized right now, and they estimate he'll be fine in a couple of hours. They didn't tell us anything before because they wanted to make sure he would be okay-”

**_Hold on, I still want you_ **

**_Come back, I still need you_ **

**_Let me take your hand, I'll make you right_ **

**_I swear to love you all my life_ **

**_Hold on, I still need you_ **

**_I don't wanna let go_ **

**_I know I'm not that strong_ **

**_I just wanna hear you say baby let's go home_ **

The clock strikes three twenty-three in the morning when Cal Prince shows up at the hospital, looking like he's just woken up, which is very likely. She has her cell phone in her hand and it looks like she's living her worst nightmare, but she still has those blue eyes that Simon clearly loves.

Cal sees the Spier family and quickly approaches them. Bram's heart drops a little at the way the Spiers seem enchanted by the boy who just arrived, as if he was already a part of them. And she can't help but wonder if Simon had lied to his family about his relationship with Cal.

“Cal and Simon are not dating”.

Leah's voice almost made him jump out of his seat, he thought she was still asleep, but he processes the information with almost too much hope.

“Do you know why?”

He asks with feigned indifference.

“Alice thinks Simon is in love with someone else.”

“Anyone else? But-”

He is quickly interrupted when Cal sits across from her

“Thank you for being on time”.

*

*

*

Almost twelve hours later Simon asks to see him, he is the last to enter and frankly he is terrified. But he plucks up his courage and walks to the door of the room.

As soon as he sees him, her stomach turns, he feels bad, her wrists are bandaged and several tubes, but her gray eyes are full of life.

“Hi. I can pass?”

Simon blinks a few times before answering.

“Sure”.

Bram would be lying if he said he's not struggling not to look nervous in front of him, he holds the package his mother brought him a few hours ago like it was a life preserver. Before his knees start to shake, he sits down in the chair next to Simon's bed.

“Thank you for going to my house and you already know how to save me-”

“I’m glad you're recovering-”

They say at the same time and watch Simon turn slightly pink.

“Cal and Leah say you were my superhero last night”.

“Leah was the heroine, I just helped her a little, even though to tell the truth we were terrified when we found you”.

“Leah has always been my heroine, but you, well me… I'm sorry you saw me like this”.

“I’m not sorry”, he whispers as he sees Simon shifting uncomfortably in his hospital bed “, that is, I wish I had arrived earlier or had been before you even considered-”

“It wasn't your fault-”

Simon interrupts, in a serious voice. _Oh, if only it was true._

“I left you alone, it was my fault”.

Now Simon looks terribly confused and Bram knows it is time to get out, to stop hiding, because he could not bear to lose the gray-eyed boy, he will have it even if it is only as a friend.

“Can I hold your hand?”

He asks and Simon nods as another blush creeps up his face.

The feeling of your hands together is amazing, but right now you just feel nervous. Trying not to look too strange, he hands her the shirt. Simon's eyebrows go up as he identifies what is printed on the shirt.

“Elliott knows that you would have gone to his concerts if you could”.

There you are, fully exposed to Jacques. If Simon doesn't connect the dots right now, he probably never will, but he listens as Simon takes a deep breath and watches him, before lowering his gaze to their joined hands and back to his face, over and over again.

Then he speaks and his voice is full of hope and fear, as if he feels just as exposed as Bram.

“Blue?!”

Nod in fear, but feel Simon's hand squeeze yours. And before you repent, take a breath.

“I adore how you smile, as if you are not aware that you do. I adore your perpetually tousled hair, like you just woke up. I love how you lengthen eye contact a moment longer than necessary. And I adore your moon gray eyes”. Those same ones that are now wide open, as if he can't believe what I'm saying, and I close my eyes before continuing “So, if you think I'm not attracted to you, Simon, you're crazy”.

“Bram-”

Simon's voice radiates emotion and I open my eyes to meet his, he is smiling and cannot help but return the gesture.

“My Blue”.

**_Let's go home_ **

**_Yeah, I just wanna take you home_ **

**_Hold on, I still want you_ **

**_Come back, I still need you._ **


End file.
